If you’re worried about infidelity in marriage, you're not alone. According to, “Statistics say that 85% of women who feel their lover is cheating are correct and 50% of men who feel their lover is cheating are right.”

signs of infidelity

The question is, how to find out if you're correct and what to do if you are.

Affairs can take many forms. Some are short-lived and purely physical, while others can last for years if the parties involved are emotionally invested. Even computer activities can be considered cheating, if your mate is heavily into Internet porn or communicating with someone online.

Estimates range from 22-70% of married men straying from their partners at some point. For wives, the numbers range from 14–40%. Obviously, it’s tough to know given the inherent secrecy of affairs. But what you can know about infidelity in marriage is what to look for. Here are some of the top signals that all is not well.

Signs of Infidelity in Marriage

  1. Personal Changes in Activities and Appearance
    A new haircut, joining a gym, upgrading a wardrobe–these could all be very innocent acts of a person who wants to improve their self-worth and esteem. But if combined with any of the other signs, you might suspect your partner is upgrading for a lover, not for you. Your mate might exhibit more “lust for life” by taking on new hobbies, but at the same time, he or she might seem depressed and bored at home.

  2. Time Away from You
    One classical signal is that your partner spends more time away from home, giving various reasons such as working late, business travel and so on. You might notice more mileage on the car or unexplained cash withdrawals or receipts.

  3. Changes in Habits
    If your mate starts doing their own laundry and showering more often, they may be trying to eliminate odors they don’t want you to smell. You may notice your partner using the computer more, using free e-mail accounts and trying to prevent you from seeing what’s on the screen. You might also notice that your partner no longer answers his or her phone when you’re nearby and doesn’t return your calls promptly.

  4. Less Intimacy with You – or Not
    One possible sign of infidelity in marriage is a cheating partner often withdraws from physical intimacy. You’ll see less cuddling and affection and a decline in your sexual relationship. You might also notice an emotional chasm opening up between you as your partner becomes more and more focused on the other person. Your mate will circumvent your romantic overtures and dodge your attempts to talk about getting your relationship back on track.
    Conversely, a guilty partner might begin showering you unexpectedly with gifts or attention to cover up what’s really going on. Or he or she might ask you to participate in untried or unusual sexual activities.

  5. Change in Attitude Towards You
    Anne Bercht, author of 
    My Husband's Affair Became the Best Thing That Happened to Me, surveyed people who had been cheated on to get their take on the most common signs. She reports, “The second most prominently reported of the signs of infidelity was the fact that the unfaithful spouse became angry, critical and even at times cruel. 70% of those surveyed reported this sign often coupled with emotional and verbal abuse, constant put downs and little to no patience.” This behavior can signal that your partner is trying to justify the affair in his or her mind by manufacturing a scenario that things are bad at home.

In assessing whether infidelity in marriage is impacting your relationship, you'll have to decide whether your partner’s actions will make or break your relationship-and how to deal with what you perceive or confirm is really going on. We encourage you to look at the past, present and future of your situation and access resources like counseling, books, web sites and friends and family to determine what’s best you for you.

Visit these pages for more information:

Emotional Infidelity: Is It Really Cheating?

Healing Infidelity Takes Time And Teamwork

Don’t Let Infidelity Warning Signs Ruin Your Self-Worth

Online Infidelity – A Serious Threat To Your Relationship

Preventing Infidelity Means Understanding Why It Happens

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