How To Attract A Man? Be A Better Conversationalist
One of the most effective techniques in knowing how to attract a man is the power of words. You can make yourself more attractive by improving and applying your conversational skills.
Think about how you normally carry on a conversation with a guy and ask yourself if your style can use some polishing. Don’t beat yourself up if you feel the way you talk to men isn’t as stellar as you want it to be. Everyone has room for improvement and you’ll benefit from an honest assessment of yourself in this important element of communicating if you want to learn more about how to attract a man.
Here are some tips to help enhance your conversational style if you want to know more about how to attract a man:
Rapport is all about connection. You need to be on the “same page” as the person you’re talking to. For example, keep an ear open for specific concepts or values a guy mentions; by doing so, you’ll learn about things that matter to him and can store these informational nuggets away for future use. Later on you can echo back these same concepts by telling him your side of the story, so to speak. For example, let’s say he mentions he likes to relax at the end of the day. You can say, “At the end of the day I like to spend an hour or so curled up with a good book and a nice cup of tea. It really helps to decompress after a crazy day, you know what I mean?”
By taking something close to his heart and giving it back to him in a genuine way, you can show him you listened and are interested in his world.
Rapport really has to do a lot with speaking the same “language.” You don’t want to mimic what he says, but rather, convey your understanding in a cognitive and emotional sense. Discovering and talking about common perceptions, thoughts, attitudes, values and beliefs is a collaborative way to communicate effectively with each other.
Rapport is all about establishing a connection with someone. If you had your pick of men, how would you know which one you’re most likely to fall for? Chances are it’s the one who naturally understands you, because it feels great when a person instinctively senses where you’re coming from, and vice-versa. Establishing rapport can help you in how to attract a man.
Don’t Think Too Much
A common mistake that intelligent women make is thinking too much. They get so caught up in their own world of thoughts that they come off as aloof or distracted . . . when in reality they’re just petrified of not knowing what to say next.
If you don’t want your brain stalling on you, learn to quiet your self-defeating thoughts with positive self-talk and shut out these nagging distractions. These attraction-killing thoughts come from your inner critic trying to sabotage your conversation.
Sometimes, we mentally scold ourselves after saying something that felt out of place or unfunny. Other times, we’re lost in a maze of what to say next or get bogged down in a swamp of self-consciousness.
When you feel your brain going in this direction, acknowledge what’s going on and stop it. Here’s a handy trick to help you: Instead of worrying about how you look to him or what he might be thinking, simply divert your attention TO HIM. It’s the best defense against appearing aloof.
On the flip side, sometimes the guy feels self-conscious. If that’s the case, don’t act or talk in any way that gives away you’re aware of it. Just play it cool and don’t dwell on the vibe he’s giving off. It’ll only make things more awkward if you let his state affect yours.
Not “thinking too much” isn’t about being an airhead-it’s about recognizing what happens when your brain goes into overdrive and preventing that from sabotaging your chances on how to attract a man.
Humor is Your Friend
Maybe you’re still feeling each other out and trying to get a handle on how to connect. But an awkward conversational flow is interfering with that connection and you’re having trouble “broadcasting” your signal. A little humor can go a long way towards clearing up that “static.”
Having some funny common ground to start on can accelerate rapport building. A joke or a witty comment can build bridges between two people, because making someone laugh will make them want to be around you to get a dose of your feel-good charisma.
There’s a big difference between laughing at a joke and making one. However, appearing to be effortless at humor isn’t as hard as you might think. Generally, a good punchline is the result of properly setting up the joke beforehand. If you need to explain the punchline after delivering it, you didn’t build enough suspense first. (Think about how some characters on TV bumble a perfectly good joke by explaining too much and adding a “get it, get it?” at the end.) That’s not the way to go, or a good approach on how to attract a man.
Build up a joke by keeping a relatively straight face and suppressing any snickers before dropping the punchline. That’s what comedic timing is all about: Buttering up the audience before you get the drop on them.
As an aside, avoid cultural references that might alienate or confuse the person you’re talking to–references that could be racist and in very poor taste. Make sure you’re using “material” the person you’re with can relate to.
Try adapting humor little by little into your conversations. Practice on your friends first. Unless you’re a born comedienne, humor is best used in small doses once you’ve built up some conversational confidence with it.
Converse With an Open Ear
Some women might think that listening is just a simple matter of hearing what the other person is telling them. Truth is, we often take this basic for granted when we're trying to be successful at how to attract a man.
Sometimes, we find ourselves zoning out when we’re conversing (see ”Don’t Think Too Much” above) when we should be paying full attention. A common mistake is to listen on a superficial level and merely use the time the guy is talking to think of something else to say to him.
You have a better chance of saying something worthwhile if you truly listen to what he’s saying. Genuine attention is a powerful tool for conversational success. Really listening to his jokes and stories is a simple but effective way of conveying courtesy and respect to make him feel good about himself. And what man doesn’t want to be around a woman with whom he associates good feelings?
The gift of showing real interest is a direct path to greater rapport in any conversation. Although our general interest here is to how to attract a man through a good chat, we also have to consider the big picture.
An attractive woman is someone who can have a great conversation with just about anybody. When you have a positive attitude towards the rest of humankind, it’s an indication of how you’d be on a date or as a girlfriend.
If you’re there to talk with someone purely for the pleasure of their company–not because you want their approval or a date–then that sincerity will naturally shine through. People (guys included) tend to like you more when you want to hang out with them with no initial strings attached.
Even though your primary interest may be how to attract a man, don’t limit your conversational skills to men alone. Look for opportunities to flex your social muscles. It doesn’t matter if it’s the nice lady at the library, the friendly cashier at your coffee shop or your fellow students at yoga. Every person out there offers a chance for you to become more comfortable and interesting by honing your conversational skills.
Understanding rapport, not thinking too much, using humor and conversing with a truly open ear are four ways to help you learn better skills in how to attract a man.
Visit these pages for more information:
Tips on Flirting Can Boost Your Confidence
Understanding What Men Want Can Help You Attract A Man
How To Attract Men? Pay Attention To You!
Looking For First Date Tips? The Best One Is To Make a Good First Impression
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