Understanding What Men Want Can Help You Attract A Man
Understanding what men want has confounded women from time immemorial. And that’s why many women sometimes make wrong assumptions by blindly accepting myths about men that can lead them in the wrong direction.
These false beliefs perpetuate ill-informed decisions that can hamper you in finding a man, or worse, finding one who isn’t worthy of you.
It’s true we all learn from our mistakes. And the best thing about learning is it can stop us from repeating past errors we’ve made in understanding what men want.
When we assume things about the opposite sex, our resulting actions can prevent a relationship from happening at all, or from moving in a healthy direction.
Let’s take a look at three of the most common myths so you’ll have a better handle on what men want in a partner:
Myth: Making him the center of your life is the most important thing
In understanding what men want, the most positive mentality you can embrace is the belief that being in a relationship is not the only thing you have going for you.
If you made a map of your life right now, would you say it’s dominated by huge chunks of land exclusively reserved for a boyfriend? Or does it equally allocate space for your family, friends, career and hobbies? Even though you want to be in a fulfilling, healthy relationship, that’s only one part of your multi-faceted self.
The sum of your life pursuits defines who you are. If you build your universe around whether you’re single or not, your resulting actions will create a very unattractive impression of neediness and even loneliness, and that's not what men want. If you show the world–meaning the potential guys in your life–that the only thing that matters to you is having a significant other in your life, you might actually drive men away.
No doubt it’s wonderful to have a partner who adores and respects you. That crazy rush you feel when you fall in love can inspire you to do great things in the other areas of your life. However, you need to keep perspective about relationships and what men want.
What that means is that you’d be just fine even if you didn’t have a boyfriend. Your life was good before you met him and he augments your life, not makes your life.
And once you think you’ve found Mr. Right? Don’t stay if you realize he’s actually Mr. Wrong. Leave if you’re not being treated the way you should be. Don’t sacrifice quality for the desire to be in a relationship, no matter the cost. Exit the comfort zone of a relationship if it’s not helping your personal growth.
A boyfriend is good–but only if he augments your already positive, successful life. You’ll drive men away if your outward aura reads “needy.” And you’ll only hurt yourself by accepting second best.
Myth: Falling in love guarantees eternal bliss
Some women believe another common myth: Those butterfly-in-the-stomach feelings you first get when you meet someone will remain constant in a relationship.
Reality is, they won’t. Even happily married couples who’ve been together for decades know that their initial infatuation evolved into a deeper and more mature definition of love . . . the kind of love that moves beyond that first rush all new couples feel. This is the love that weathers countless emotional storms, power struggles and other relationship challenges. The result is a rock-solid relationship that doesn’t constantly require you to feel the heart-quickening rush infatuation brings.
Don’t be afraid of outgrowing this primary stage in your relationship; better things are headed your way. Over time, the falling-in-love stage will be replaced by something more meaningful but you’re going to go through a series of trials as a couple before you get there.
Don’t buy into the myth that loving your guy the way you do in the beginning is enough to get you through the years. Remember that neither of you is perfect; along the way, your “little” differences are going to catch up to you.
You’ll experience conflict over little things and big things. But power struggles are normal after familiarity settles in. If you can accept the reality that love will inevitably undergo transformations over time, then you’ll have no reason to worry about growing pains in your relationship. Insisting that everything run smoothly or take care of itself will blind you to the inevitable speed bumps the future will bring.
This isn’t to say you shouldn’t enjoy the moment because being happy is the point of a relationship, right? Just accept that things will change but you can stay happy as long as you’re ready to deal with the reality check phase in due time.
Finding lasting happiness is best achieved by embracing a realistic perspective, no matter how head-over-heels you may feel at the start.
Myth: "Low maintenance" women get men
"Low maintenance" is a misunderstood term. Sometimes women hear this adjective and think it means having no opinion of their own and being a pushover . . . being sweet on the outside, but brimming with unspoken emotions inside.
The kind of woman who’s afraid to mess up a perfectly good relationship by speaking up too much . . . the kind who shuts off her ability to express feelings in a healthy way. Sadly, this misconception unconsciously drives many women to behave in a very needy way, which usually isn’t what men want in a partner.
What “low maintenance” really means is a woman who has a realism about her . . . a well-adjusted, reasonable person who doesn’t throw a fit when her partner unwittingly makes the occasional offhand remark or expresses something she’s uncomfortable with . . . The kind of woman who can manage her feelings, is an effective communicator and collaborative problem solver.
This is the ideal picture of “low maintenance.” It’s not about being so laid-back that you spend every moment trying to please your guy’s every whim or accommodate his moments of selfishness.
Keep in mind the difference between the self-confident, caring woman who doesn’t get upset about the little things . . . versus the emotional slave who sacrifices her dignity and independence in the name of “love.” Where on that continuum do you want to be?
“Low maintenance” means controlling your moods swings and outbursts, but still being strong and stable enough to confidently speak your mind.
Understanding what men want can set you on a path to finding Mr. Right. For the most part, what we read in books or see onscreen doesn’t necessarily reflect what happens in actual relationships. If you project unrealistic fantasies onto real life, you’ll likely end up disappointed.
Real relationships naturally include the complexities of human behavior, which means getting a handle on what men want and what to expect from them in return.
Visit these pages for more information:
How To Attract A Man? Be A Better Conversationalist
How To Attract Men? Pay Attention To You!
Tips on Flirting Can Boost Your Confidence
Looking For First Date Tips? The Best One Is To Make a Good First Impression
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